It started with a Manhattan Cocktail
That seems to be pretty typical scenario, doesn’t it? As I passed by my girlfriend, she looked up, big smile on her face, and she says to me, as she lifted the martini glass in her hand, “Bob made me a Manhattan". Apparently at some point in time after she had a glass of wine the host of the party, Bob approached her and said - “would you like a Manhattan?” She is a Manhattan girl, she likes Manhattans. She said I’d love one. He went and got his old Mr. Boston guide to double check himself (Bob is a Marine you know; they go by the book). He made her a very lovely Manhattan. He prided himself on it, as was appropriate
We had been invited to a midafternoon cocktail party. I always like those midafternoon cocktail parties. It was a jovial group, a large group sending one of the members off to a new life and new explorations. The food was exquisite. The hostess and host were at their best, she is being most charming. He was pretty charming himself that day, well it wasn’t a workday. It was a festive party atmosphere.
But a festive atmosphere doesn’t necessarily come just because you have nice food and good drinks. A party is made principally by its hosts and then from that, all of the other ingredients from food to liquor to desserts and ultimately to the guest list. But it always starts with “a consummate good host”.
"A consummate good host".
So, what makes a consummate good host? Principally, I think it starts with being a happy person. But in the background is one who cares about his guests and goes that extra mile, that extra step to make his/her guests feel welcome, appreciated and catered to. So, in this case Bob & Peggy met the first two and then went on to make the two finer points of being catered to and catering to a guest. And I can tell you from the ride home afterwards my girlfriend felt catered to.
So, what can you glean from that is that you want to have a good food and good wines and liquors, you want to choose your guest carefully, some good music - he and I share an affection for Sonos - and ultimately you want to cater to your guests to make them feel they are really special in your home.
Role of a guest.
Well, not a rule that I calmly adhere to. But you do want to be on good behavior. And there’s no reason to go to a party if you’re not in a party mood. You should enjoy yourself, mix around and meet new people, comment on the great music they’re playing, i.e., the host. All in all, while behaving yourself, contribute to the atmosphere the party. You are not there to be the main "focus of the party". That is of course, unless you are “the focus of the party “. Some of the things that I appreciate when we throw an event – people dress appropriately for the party. Is it a cocktail party in the evening? Is it a beach party? Is it a pool party? Each is going to necessitate its own costumery. As we have learned from the Europeans, the French, and the Greeks …. always a nice thing to bring a little gift to the hostess or host. Candy is always nice, a small bouquet of flowers always accepted with glee and smiles, a bottle of wine - now we’re getting really pretty seriously on good behavior. In my opinion, one never brings food to a party unless invited by the hostess. But I’m kind of that way.
I think a guest should be careful if they are the first to leave the party, possibly they throw out that they have to go get the babysitter. Sometimes I find that the first person to leave seems to set the tone for others to say oh it must be time to leave. Not us this day, we felt so comfortable with our hosts we were the last to leave, embarrassingly. Being of European heritage, for me the party typically wouldn’t end until sometime after 1130 maybe even go on before the magic hour midnight. Some people have found sticking around at my house for a party around midnight, usually ends up with "Pasta Luna". A simple and yet exquisite tasting bowl of pasta and some sliced tomatoes fresh olive oil and feta cheese and some sparkling water.
And when you get home and reflect upon the party, hopefully some positive things will come to mind that make you smile again, and you want to sit down and say to yourself “gosh I think I’ll send them a handwritten note telling them how much I enjoyed the effort they went through to throw that lovely event”.
And finally, the good party!
The checklist -
the theme, the invites, the menu, "the help", a cocktail menu,
a music plan,
decor, a blend of guests …
I find starting with a theme is the best way of invigorating yourselves and making your party exciting. We’ve done Bastille Day, we’ve done Feuergazanbowle party and Greek “Oxi” day. I find it also helps to send out a hold the date, so people are prepared for your invite. Having a menu of what you’re going to serve usually serves as a good starting point for blending the theme with what you’re serving of food and liquor. I like to have a cocktail menu for people to look at rather than say what would you like to have? I like to have a paper with maybe five or six cocktails on it. Typically, it seems to inspire people to say, "oh I’ve never had that, I want to try that". That was my experience with Connie, one time with her first Negroni. I go to the length of making a playlist to start off with a little lively music then maybe swing into some jazz to cool things down, and then maybe towards the end some Cuban Jazz or something smoother. I also believe that having a blend of guest young and old, old & new, out of town and people you socialize with is helpful and controlling to the flow of the excitement at a party.
To summarize, I hope this has helped you overcome your hesitancy in having a cocktail party. Or improving your behavior at a cocktail party. (Which I’m told I always need to be working on.) In any event greater success in your social life ……
A tout l’heure
Boire
Cocktail: Manhattan
Rye whisky 2 Oz.
Vermouth rosso 1 Oz.
Angostura bitters 2 dashes
& Cherry, of course a Luxardo
Appetizer: quartered tomatoes with sea salt and oregano.
Music: Marcel Zanini - "Un Scotch, Un Bourbon, Une Biere"
